Today I’m 24 years old.
I’ve technically been an adult for a while now, but every year I think to myself, “I don’t feel like an adult.” I am one, but I’m not one. Does that make sense?
This post was inspired by the lovely Jamie from The Perpetual Page-Turner and a comment I left on one of her posts.
I’m pretending my way through life
Whenever I used to look at adults and compare them to myself (as a kid), here’s what I saw:
- People with jobs and working hours.
- Taxes, insurance.
- Grumbling over rent and “paying the bills” and how it was easier being a kid.
But now I’m an adult and I DON’T HAVE THOSE THINGS!
Job, what job?
Okay, yes, I have a job. But I’m self employed. And that’s not to say that being self employed isn’t a real job, BECAUSE IT IS, I just mean that it’s soooo different from a corporate job.
In high school I always skated by. I got good grades (As and Bs, most of the time), but I didn’t try. I somehow managed to get through without studying or focusing. I always thought that would come to an end when I graduated and had to get a job… But it hasn’t.
My job is the most relaxed thing ever. I’m in a fantasy land.
- Iβm self employed.
- I make my own hours.
- I wake up sometime between 10am and noon, then grab a drink from Costa, have a leisurely morning, and then start working.
- I can take vacations and breaks whenever I want because about 50-70% of my income is passive, and then we ALSO have my husband’s income.
Even by self employed standards, I’m super lax. A lot of freelancers have strict schedules for themselves where they wake up at 9, work, take lunch, work, then get off work at 5. That’s not me! I wake up LATE, I go out for lunch, I screw around, I work, I screw around, I work some more… and because of that, sometimes I even work after dinner.
But I don’t have to get dressed, I can sit in my PJs all day long, and I don’t have a cubicle or an office… and I can do whatever the hell I want work/project-wise.
How the hell do I do insurance?
I don’t even know.
There are some things (like insurance) that I feel like I’m SUPPOSED to know as an “adult”, but I just don’t. When I was a kid, my dad took care of that. Now I’m married and my husband takes care of that.
Now, I’m not complaining. I have no DESIRE to learn about insurance and crap like that. Having to sort out my own taxes was annoying enough. But it still just reinforces the point that I don’t do “adult things”.
Give me bills over school any day
Sooo many adults say that once you become an adult, you’ll miss school. So far I’ve NEVER had that feeling, and it’s hard to imagine ever having it.
- No, I don’t LIKE paying thousands of pounds in taxes.
- No, I don’t LIKE paying rent.
But I’d rather do those things than have to go to school for seven hours a day, then come home and do homework for more hours, then study for stupid tests that are pointless anyway because you’ll forget it all as soon as you graduate.
I hated school. The system is so screwed up in the sense that it’s all about memorizing useless facts and equations that you could just look up on Google anyway. But I don’t want to get sidetracked…
My point is, I prefer being an “adult” (even if I’m a fake one) than being a student.
Not all adults are put together or know everything or have strict schedules
As Jamie says in her awesome post:
“Thereβs so many expectations of what life should be like.” Jamie, Enjoying It For What It Is
We imagine that being a grown up is about being “put together”, or knowing how to deal with bureaucratic things, or having a 9-5 job with a cubicle… But we’re all different adults. Some of us are well organized and totally OWN IT. Others, like myself, just smile and skate along, pretending like we know what we’re doing.
According to my Twitter bio, I’m a semi-adult. When I have on one of my onesies, I’m the adult toddler. I feel like part of my identity is built on still feeling like a child. I JUST found out what an insurance premium is and that I’ve paying them since graduating. I work in an office, but I wear sweatpants and eat ice cream for lunch there almost every day. I feel like being this kind of an adult is a huge identity crisis haha.
Haha sweat pants are totally in my daily routine!
First of all: HAPPY BDAY!
“i’M SKATING BY”
I have a hard time when i think “wow this year i’ll be 29years old!” some people say: you should have kids now, don’t delay etc…” apparently there’s a “adult mode” but i’m not on it…i like to have fun and not being so serious, i wish i would be my own boss *i’m dreamin with the euromillions*, i have to work in shifts…and leaving the house, our bed to the night shift sucks…it sucks to have schedule etc…the only reason i still enjoy is because of my patients (i’m a nurse)…when i finishED my nurse degree i promised i would never go back to school…i hated! I hated high school, people used to laugh of me because of my weight etc…i was the strange at school because i prefer confortable clothes and not social clothes…is ok for me people wear wherever they want because they like and not because now is the age to wear other stuff and act more like a ladie…i wear what i want and people complain but i don’t care is my confortable zon, mode etc…i’m a different adult, with responsabilities etc but i never loose my child side…i know one day i’ll be my own boss XD
Wow, people should not be pushing you into having kids! That’s absurd. That whole “don’t delay” thing is BS. I actually think it’s quite rude to say that to someone!
Exactly…people have kids when they are ready not because “it’s time” “it would be too late after” etc…i need to put my finances in order first etc…is like all my colleagues from work, university, are having kids and apparently they think everyone should do that too…is like marriage. I live together with my boyfriend for almost two years and people are always “when do you get married?” etc and not everyone wants to get married or just right away, i usually answer to that question: “when you will pay for the marriage!” XD
Yeah they can pay for your wedding and babysit the kids.
SERVES THEM RIGHT!
And they better have patient with kids…because i would love to have twins XD
I feel the same way. Especially when I have to go to something more formal, and I realize I have no “grown up” clothes. The hubs and I are seriously more like kids now than we were young. I still like to go to concerts and fangirl over my favorite artists. I like being a different adult. π
Ugh I have ZERO grown up clothes. Then if I do buy them, I only wear them for that ONE occasion. I just like to lounge around in my sweat pants; they’re comfy!
I really loved reading this post, Ashley! It’s so cool to me that you’ve carved out an untypical “adult” life. It seems like to me you’re really enjoying life and what it has to offer. Doing life your way works, so I think it’s awesome you’ve gone along with it. =)
I’ve actually been in the midst of figuring out college stuff and I honestly have no clue how everything is going to turn out. Ultimately, I just want to be able to make a difference.
Amazing post. <3
Thank you Aneeqah! π
I have no doubt that you can make a difference if that’s what you want to do. So try not to worry too much about it. π If it’s what you want, you’ll make it happen.
I would be a professional college student if I could afford it. I loved going to school. I love taking classes and learning new things. I just don’t like to do it and have a full-time job too. I totally get that you don’t feel like a “real adult”. After my brother graduated from college, he worked as a tour guide in Alaska for about five years. He got winters off and still made more money in a year than I did. I told him he has the rest of his life to have a “real job” and to have fun while he could. Now he is married and has a “real job”. Do what works for you. Enjoy.
Wow your brother’s job sounds like it was pretty awesome!
My mom’s a housewife and my Dad works, so it’s really contrasted. Both my parents are at home 95% of the time and sometimes it’s great, sometimes it makes it really hard to breathe. usually the latter. I always imagined being an adult as working, struggling to make ends meet [because of my terrible work ethic] and being independant. I have NO wishes to grow up. Right now, i’m living pretty comfortably.
I think that the way you live is awesome! You live on your own terms, which is something a bet a lot of people wish they could do. And adults are boring π Stay a CHILD WHEN YOU CAN BE A CHILD
Yeah I honestly don’t even know why I had this perception of what an adult should look like…
My mom is a housewife and my dad is a private investor. So my dad never had a 9-5 job. He was home all the time just working for himself whenever he wanted, haha!
So I literally have no idea where I got this adult perception.. movies, maybe?
I’m 25 and not together at all! I still live with my parents and I’ve been unemployed for over a year (I was a temp previously). I am trying to get a job, but that’s about the only “adult” thing that I do other than paying my student loans on time. My mom did my taxes for me last year while I was sleeping! Thanks, Mom! π
So for now, I’m definitely a fake adult too!
Haha yeah my dad was always doing my taxes until I moved to a different country and he couldn’t do them for me anymore. π But he still files my tax return in the United States, which I have to do even though I don’t live there X_X
I enjoy being an adult than a student too. I’m turning 22 on February, and to be perfectly honest, I still have no idea what I’m doing with my life. So, to answer your question, I’m definitely skating by! π On another note, happy birthday, Ashley! π
Thanks Priscilla!! π High five to skating by!
I did school and a lot of it, however, I might be an exception because I do like school. I’m done with all of that now and it paid of for me. I’m older than you and I have three kids, so I think that having children grounded me more and made me think about all sort of things (like insurance, taxes, paying for college and retirement!)
When I was your age, I did felt the same way, like I was playing house and pretend π
Yeah I imagine I’ll feel more like an adult if/when I have kids. When you HAVE kids, it’s probably harder to feel like one yourself!
Ha! I’m 40 years old, and sometimes I still feel like this. I think the kids are old enough now that I do actually feel like an adult most of the time (it’s kind of hard not to when you have a twelve-year-old), but sometimes I still don’t feel like what I thought being an adult would feel like. I homeschool my kids and I do freelance editing – so I mostly make my own schedule (though, with kids, it’s not nearly as flexible as yours). But, really, I don’t even think that’s it. I don’t think we ever feel the way we expected to feel about adulthood – all those “responsible” adults out there probably feel the same way sometimes! π
Yeah I imagine having kids (especially older ones) makes you feel more grown up!
It’s still great that you have your own schedule though. π
I am the fakest adult in all the land. I am 32, and I don’t feel like an adult in any way, and I am quite shocked that I am allowed to have spawns of my own. I have insurance, and I know how I have it, and I know it is because I send a check for $514 to Blue Cross every month and it makes me stabby. I know I can’t even make ends meet, and my mom still pays for my cell phone. It’s bad.
My vision of an adult growing up was people who had their crap together. My parents worked (exactly like you said- the 8-4 jobs, 5 days a week, wearing horribly stuffy clothes). They complained about their jobs, they weren’t particularly happy, BUT they also never worried about how they were going to pay the mortgage. They were kind of robotic, to be honest. Very few emotions, happy or sad. I hated that, I didn’t want to BE that. So I guess I am not, but it isn’t any better. I just feel like a 20 year old who got in over her head. I think things are very, very different for our generation.
And of course, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! π
I think your life sounds great. I’d rather be a bit unsure about where I am but be happy, than be very comfortable but very robotic!
I do all those things like make sure I have benefits and insurance, I pay all of my ridiculous bills, and I generally work 9-5 at a bank. But sometimes I don’t feel like I’m really grown up yet. I’m in my thirties and it still feels like I need my Mom some days. I don’t always feel like I have it together, but the only thing is that I have my husband to remind me that I’m not here dealing with it alone and I feel safe and taken care of. Sometimes I wish I was a college kid again, those were the days. π
Aw, yeah! Moms rock. There are definitely times that I desperately want/need mine.
Um YES. I just turned 23 on the 23rd, and basically felt all these things. I thought about writing a post and tried to draft one, but I couldn’t get the words down. Man, I would love to be self-employed. Currently, I’m just unemployed because I have ZERO coding skills. I love designing and would love to design and sell greeting cards and prints full time, but it just hasn’t happened yet. π
But I definitely feel like this, I do not understand taxes or insurance or anything.
Hah, 23 on the 23rd! Awesome!
You just need a bit of practice. π Everyone has to start from somewhere. There was a time that I knew NOTHING about coding and design. But I practised and worked at it, and now I have my own business. You could do that too!
I just turned 23 and this post definitely resonates with me. Within the past year I graduated from undergrad and I felt so burnt out after that (although I love school) and ever since then I’ve worked part time and been studying for graduate school entrance exams. I don’t really feel that much different than I did as a minor even though that was five years ago (I think partially because college was so much an extension of those late teen years). It’s like I feel like my adult life can’t start until I have a 9-5 office job…so I liked that your post focused on how that life doesn’t have to be for everyone π On the one hand I feel this incredible pressure to “start” my adult life, but at the same time I know that it’s societal expectations and pressure that make me feel like I can’t be an adult without doing things like managing my own insurance! (Which thankfully doesn’t have to be an issue until I’m 26).
Yeah you’re totally right. It’s like we don’t feel like an adult until we reach a certain point (like the 9-5 job). But I guess that’s not really true and we need to break out of that mindset somehow. π
I don’t feel like an adult at all. I am 29, I still don’t know what I want to do, I don’t have a full time job. I live with my parents to save money. So no, I in no way feel like an adult. I want to be self-employed but I tried that and I did not enjoy any of my clients. They made me miserable and hate what I love. So now I am thinking I need a normal 9-5 job but no one will hire me because I have a lot of education but little experience. I am on pause and it’s hard to hit play again. I too don’t know a lot of adultish things like I should. I get the idea, but the details scare me. I wish I was more self-sufficient, but it’s hard to do that when no one will give me a chance.
Aw I don’t think you told me that about your clients? π At least not that directly.
So are you totally off the design/blog tour idea now?
And yeah, that loop you’re in is horrible. No one will hire you because you have no experience, but you can’t get experience because no one will hire you! It’s so stupid that such a thing exists.
I am taking a break from website design/mastering and stuff. One client stopped paying me, another keeps trying to sell me her product and talking about religion in every email and phone convo, and the list goes on. I just got some crazies and I am tired of dealing with them.
I have a day job, insurance, and sizable savings. Pay rent and bills. Married and planning on a mortgage and kids in a few years. And I still feel like a fraud.
I want to fake being sick so I can stay home, I need constant reassurance and handholding because I can’t get past my anxiety, and I’m just SO needy. I feel like I’m barely skating by. I wouldn’t go back to being a kid again (because I like having money and no one can tell me no :P), but being an adult sucks!
Aw, I’m sorry you’re feeling that way Raisa! I guess it shows that you can still have your life completely in order on the outside but not feel put together on the inside.
Happy Birthday!
And I definitely feel like I’m a fake adult too! I’m twenty-one and have a full time job, but it’s the same job I did part time through college and university, so it really doesn’t feel all that different from when I was a teenager working there. And I still live with my parents, so thinking about it, my life isn’t real all that different than it was a few years ago – I’m just older! I would like to start a freelance writing career and I have been looking into getting my own place, so hopefully I’ll feel more like an adult then!
A freelance writing career and your own place would be awesome! I have to admit, I do love living on my own. As much as I love my parents, having freedom is nice. π
HAPPY BIRTHDAY !!!! And I’m a fake adult too… of 40-something π On the outside, I’m a strong, responsible adult, on the inside, I’m still a girl for many things !
I think that’s the best way to be! I used to thing there was something wrong with me because I watched all my friends and family “grow up” (both inside and out) but I kind of stayed where I was (on the inside, anyway). But you know what, that’s totally fine! That’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. π
My routine couldn’t be much different to yours! Lol I have a corporate job, so I’m all about working hours, commitment to certain working schedules and set holiday days – while it isn’t always ideal I have to say my version is much better than some people’s! I do sometimes miss the school days, but not because they were the best days of my life, because even though they were hard too there was less pressure and less responsibility than there is now. Independence comes at a price. When it comes to insurance and doing all those “adult things” – I actually love that part, I’m all about knowing what I need to know, haggling for what I need to buy and sussing out contracts and stuff, I’m good with that part. I used to feel I was a fake adult until quite recently, kind of how I used to think I was a fake professional. When I graduated I felt it was only a matter of time until someone caught me out and discovered I was actually crap at my job lol Now I have to say, (and your post is what made me realise it), I do feel like a proper adult and a proper professional, but my thing is that I feel we were lied to a little bit lol Being a grown up is not quite what I expected it to be, and I think more kids could use a dose of realism so when they get to this age they aren’t overwhelmed with a sense of… disappointment?? I’m turning 25 next month – so maybe this grown up thing hits properly around then! Lol R x
Wow, you’re like my opposite! π Haha.
You’re totally right about expectations though. I’m not even sure where that idea came from.. maybe bad TV? Haha.
I might be an adult in age, but I certainly don’t feel like one. Perhaps because I’m still not completely on my own (I sort of life with my boyfriend, but officially I live with my parents. This is going to change at the end of this year, so exciting) and I don’t have a job yet (graduating this year)
I always thought, when I was around 16, that my life would be put together at this age. I would have a job, a house, etc. I had certain expectations of how it was going to be; how I was going to feel (all grown-up and achieved) It’s funny to realize how wrong I was.
Happy birthday! π
Thanks Mel! π
I guess when we’re young we don’t realize that everyone is different. We don’t go through life at the same pace. I do have some friends who are in their early 20s and already have a house and a job, etc. But they’re in the crazy minority! I think most of us are on our own paths that don’t involve those ‘standard’, ‘perfect’ steps.
I definitely don’t miss school either! When I do adult things I don’t usually think about it, it’s just something I’ve been getting used to for a few years now. I mean next week I’m going to be 27 and I don’t feel anywhere near that old! I definitely don’t feel like an adult though, it’s weird.
I don’t think I’m super put together but I am definitely organized when it comes to certain things. I learn pretty quickly so I just pick things up and go from there.
You’re so right! I don’t feel like an adult but I do things like pay taxes and pay bills. It just seems like a normal thing I do, but I guess those are actually adult things. π
I know! I’m 23, and I feel exactly the same. But to be honest, I think everyone feels like that. I’ve asked my mum about having kids, sometimes when I was 20+, and she admitted: “Your dad and I didn’t actually know what we were doing. We just worked our way through and made sure you always thought we had everything under controle.”
So… xD
– Love, Felicia
( http://asillygirlsthoughts.weebly.com/ )
I’m feeling far too adult at the moment, though my brain thinks I’m still 14. I was reminded last week that it’s been 7 years since I left high school, in my brain it was only 2 years ago. Sometimes, like now, I get seriously stressed out about ‘growing up’ and being stuck in the same job for the rest of my life. My dream is to be a freelance writer but I feel so paralysed at the moment and have no idea what to do.
I felt the same way in my early 20s, even though I had a full time job and went to work every day and had insurance and all that mess. I think that feeling like an adult came on very slowly. Having to actually USE your insurance suddenly makes you care about it, as I wanted to do anything I could do to cut medical, dental, and vision insurance bills! There also came a point when I would look at college students and realize that I was not in that demographic anymore — and that, to them, I was old.
Paradoxically, what really made me feel like a grown-up was quitting my job and going back to school. Being at the exact same university where I did my undergraduate work and now teaching those undergrads made me realize that I am SO GLAD to not be in college anymore. I love owning my house and understanding taxes and being independent from my parents and being PAID to be a student. So even though my day to day life does not look very grown-up (I spend it in my sweatpants and get up at 10 and eat ice cream for breakfast!), somewhere along the line my brain caught up with my life situation. But it took a long time!
Happy birthday Ashley!
I’m 33 and still don’t feel like and adult some times but I envy you for working at home and in pj’s.
Enjoy your 24’s
I’m 28 and I have two kids and we just got our own house…and I still don’t feel like an adult sometimes. Other than the waking up late thing (I have to wake up early to get my daughter ready for school and wait for the bus), my life is pretty laid back right now. Back when I had a full time job, I hated it. I worked an hour away from home and was gone from 7am to 6pm Monday to Friday and barely got to see my kids after finishing dinner.
I was never one of those people that had a burning desire to go to college. Sure, it CAN help you get a better job, but I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life paying back student loans. I went to fashion school because it was more of a ‘me’ thing. Something I just really wanted to learn.
I kind of wish I hadn’t gone to college. I never wanted to go but it was something my parents kind of needed me to do, you know? And I get where they were coming from, but ultimately all I got was a degree. I didn’t learn anything.
So while I didn’t necessarily hate college, it just feels like it was a waste of money since I didn’t learn anything and nothing I did at college is helping me do my job.
I completely agree with you! I’ve had a lot of different jobs and since I’ve started my own business I’ve realized that this is the route that I want to take instead of working for someone else. I also have more of a free attitude about my day but it allows me to work on things as they come in and not feels stressed about getting orders out.
I love being an adult so much more than being a kid. I was just talking about this with Terri on her post (http://www.readingbystarlight.com/2015/01/28/can-talk-10-miss-kid/). I totally agree – i’d rather pay bills and rent over go to school any day.
I’m a pretty put together adult, but when I lived in LA I veered wildly between structured and totally making it up. I think having (or not) a “typical” job makes the difference. In LA work is so different and on demand and variable. Sometimes its 12 hour days and sometimes it’s not working for a week. Having a regular job means not only getting up (at 5:30am – seriously?!) but also having to be so much more intentional about my time outside work that I devote to my own pursuits. Because that time is limited I have to be more “put together’ to get the things that are important to me accomplished π
YESSS! A million times YES! This is exactly how I feel, I turn 23 in March and I don’t feel like an adult ..I mean TECHNICALLY I’m an adult and have been for awhile, but in my mind I feel more like a really really mature teenager or something lol. This post made me feel so much better! Good to know I’m not the only one that’s a fake adult (:
To me being an adult seems to come down to responsibility. If you didn’t come through on responsibilities as a kid, generally the consequences were fairly mild such as getting grounded, getting a bad grade, etc. As an adult though, there are definitely responsibilities and even if you don’t have the normal responsibilities like taxes or insurance, you still have responsibilities to your business that really bad things could happen if you ignored (like lose your reputation, get sued, etc). Even though it sounds like fulfilling your responsibilities isn’t too difficult for you, you still have them ya know?
I am also 24 and currently doing my Masters, but I worked for 2 years to save for my degree beforehand, and during those two years I did not feel like an adult. I still don’t, and it’s not just because I’m a student and I can do all those stupid things students do. I really do not feel like a functioning adult right now haha!
Also when I compare myself to celebrities of the same age I feel I look about 6 years younger than I am!
Well, as you know, it was my birthday yesterday, too. I am now 35 years old. People still mistake me for being in college – and twice, they thought I was in high school.
I realized this morning that I graduated high school almost 17 years ago. That…kinda blows my mind, because it feels like it was yesterday, but in reality, my 20 year reunion is right around the corner.
I spent a lot of time in my 20s fucking off and not taking responsibility for myself. I was 26 when I realized that I was still acting like a teenager. So I cleaned my shit up and got a good job and now we’re thinking about buying a house this year (if anything, to save us from getting screwed on our yearly taxes – the wonderful “benefits” of being married). And yet, even with all the normal “adult” stuff, I still feel like a kid. When I go somewhere with my parents, they always pay. I still buy cool gadgets for myself and my husband. In fact, I’m sitting on the couch right now while he plays the XBOX (he’s 45, btw).
This is not how I imagined being grown would be. I expected to have 2.5 kids by this time, cooking meals at home (even though I hate cooking_, and shuttling the little carpet sharks everywhere. Thinking about that now makes me cringe.
I’m glad it turned out the way it has! So I guess my point is, you may NEVER feel like an adult lol. I’m still waiting for it, and it hasn’t happened yet.
I’m 21, so teeechnically I’ve been an adult for more than three years (where I live), and yes, I have definitely grown up a lot, but do I feel like and adult adult? Nope. We do have this certain image of adulthood in our minds (mine is similarly to yours), and I just don’t feel like I’ll ever be able (or want to) conform to that. I think the thing that shocks me most is when my friends settle down and talk about getting married and having kids, and I’m sitting here like BUT YOU’RE TOO YOUNG. And the thing is, most of them don’t have it any more together than I do; I just associate marrying and having children with the image of an adult that I used to have when I was a kid. We often only see one possibility of what being an adult means in the media, but there are many different kinds of adults. I think the best part about being an adult is to be able to make your own choices and learn from your own mistakes!
Omg I wish I could work from home. That would be magical. Although I’m pretty sure I would be really bad at it. I would be so easily distracted and unmotivated. Some days I feel like an adult and other days I don’t. When I’m dealing with stuff like insurance and taxes and getting dressed in my big girl work clothes every day I do. But then when I’m just screwing around on the weekends or I go home to my parents house I’m all hahaha I’m not a real adult.
I just turned 27 and I’m still amazed I’m an ‘adult’. I have a house. I have a KID!! How did this happen??
I’m a little late commenting here – but i love this post! I totally feel the same way, and I’m 27! I actually have a 9-5 “real job” and I do real adult things like pay bills etc, but I still don’t feel like an adult. I guess growing up I always thought adults did things ON PURPOSE or like… had a PLAN or something, and I feel like I’m just winging everything! I don’t think I’ll ever feel like and adult! But i’m okay with that actually. π
Thanks Jade! I think you’re totally right; we have this idea of adults having a plan and always knowing what to do. I guess that’s just our skewed view as kids!
Yeah, I’m 35 and I’m pretty sure “adulthood” is a myth.
I’m a mom, a wife and I have a pretty awesome career. But I don’t feel like a grown-up yet.
Never grow up, as Peter Pan says.
I know what you mean to an extant but it looks like you are way more of an adult then I am. At least your husband takes care of things.
I am, 33, and live with my parents and 3 kids. My mom tells me what to do on a daily basis and she is very controlling. She told me I am stupid and mentally retarded the other day and I am wondering if that is true.
I am struggling with severe depression and have struggled with it for most of my adult life. I feel like life is dragging me and I am going but not alive.
I don’t really have friends or the desire for friends. My poor kids.
I have dug a hole of debt for myself and have trouble keeping a job long enough to get out of debt. I’m living off of my parents for now. I am miserable, mad at myself and just feel like I don’t know how to be an adult.
I am 54 and STILL feel like a fake adult !
Wow Congrats on an easy life. I am a single mom, 27 and my son is 8. I have been living on my own since I was 19 but it hasn’t always been easy, and have had to stay at my moms for 6 months one time and currently I am back in her house. I am a very independent person, so relying on my mom is very hard on me and I do not feel comfortable at her house. I go to school online and have worked in Restaurants for about 7 years, sometimes 2 jobs at a time up to 14 hours a day. I also live in Hawaii where the cost of living is crazy high, a two bedroom apartment is on average 1,300$ a month and upwards to about 2,000$ a month. I have not had a serious relationship since I married my sons dad when I was 19. No that did not last long, and for good reason, he was abusive. I feel like my life is slowly getting better but It has been very very difficult. I wish I could lay around in PJs all day.